Come take a ride in Tito´s time Machine 1

Come take a ride in Tito´s time Machine – Part 1 – Introduction

Risto Stefov

August 16, 2009

Almost every e-mail I have received from Greeks in the last half a dozen years or so mentions the name "Tito" as the "creator" of the Macedonian ethnic identity. "You are not Macedonians, you are Slavs and you came to the Balkans in the 6th century AD" seems to be the standard Greek definition of a Modern Macedonian. But if we are all Slavs and came to the Balkans in the 6th century AD then how did we become Macedonians? Well the Greeks have an answer for that too. They say "Tito created the Macedonian ethnic identity".

Greeks, it seems, feel very uncomfortable when a question pops up for which they have no ready made answers but on the question of "How did the Macedonians become Macedonians?" they are pretty sure Tito created them.

Well, if we "must" believe that "Tito" created the Macedonians then we must also believe that Tito possessed a "Time Machine" because in this series of articles we will show you that the Macedonians existed way before Tito´s time.

"Greek propagandists and Greek government officials have brainwashed their Greek citizens into believing that Josip Broz Tito, the Yugoslav dictator, along with the Communists, ´invented´ the Macedonians. The Bulgarians too, like the Greeks, are in denial when it comes to the existence of a Macedonian nation." (TrueMacedonian)

TrueMacedonian knows Tito´s secret because he along with Marty and Doc accompanied Tito on his voyages back in time watching Tito "create" these Macedonians. But unbeknownst to them I too accompanied Tito, Marty, Doc and TrueMacedonian watching things unfold as I hid in the back seat of the Delorean, recording events as they unfolded.

So why don´t we all take a trip back in time and let´s see exactly when and where Tito landed and how he "invented" these Macedonians.

One puzzling question however. "What identity were these people before Tito ´made´ them into Macedonians"? I guess we will have to turn to the Greeks for that answer!

The best trick Tito ever pulled was to assemble his best scientists to create his time machine. Upon being pushed to 88 miles per hour his time machine broke the time barrier and disappeared back into the future. Tito´s first trip was to 1985 where he acquired a Yugo engine for his Delorian. From then on he traveled under his own power and went wherever he wanted just by setting the time machine´s time dial. I snuck-up and boarded the Delorian while it was briefly visiting my neck of the woods on January 1st, 2000. My first ride was to 1907 when Tito went to Pennsylvania to do some dirty deeds. (Story inspired by TrueMacedonian)

After landing in Pennsylvania Tito took a trip to the Statistics office and ordered the statistician to enter the following;

"Iron and Steel Supplement – Labor…Macedonians…17" ("Annual Report of the Secretary of Internal Affairs of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania", Part III, Industrial Statistics, Vol. XXXV, 1907, page 73)

By the way registered on page 73 you will also find Greeks…159 and Slavish…3,408.

"Labor Supplements – Sole and Harness Leather…Macedonians…43" ("Annual Report of the Secretary of Internal Affairs of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania", Part III, Industrial Statistics, Vol. XXXV, 1907, page 191)

Registered on page 191 you will also find Greeks…20 and Slavonians…285.

"Labor Supplements – Tanning Extracts…Macedonians…3" ("Annual Report of the Secretary of Internal Affairs of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania", Part III, Industrial Statistics, Vol. XXXV, 1907, page 247)

For more details on the above and for more of Tito´s dirty deeds please click on the following link:

If you visited the link above you would have seen Tito´s best work, convincing the statistics office in 1907 to record 17 Macedonians working with iron and steel, 43 Macedonians working with sole and harness leather and 3 Macedonians working with tanning extracts. It was quite an accomplishment for Tito to create 63 Macedonians just like that!

After visiting Pennsylvania, Tito decided to jump back to the 19th century to add some Macedonians in an English-Arabic dictionary. He knocked off a few shots of rakia for courage and then bribed the dictionary author with some more rakia. When the author was drunk and passed out Tito ordered TrueMacedonian to modify the dictionary as follows:

"Saklabah, The Sclavonians, supposed by the Arabians to be descended from Seclab, a son of Japhet. Under this name, however, the Mahometans comprehend often the Servians, Bulgarians, Moesians, Thracians, Albanians, Macedonians and the northern parts of Greece." ("An English Arabic Dictionary" by Josiph Catafago, 1858, page 131)

Not satisfied with modifying just some statistics and one definition in a dictionary, Tito figured it was time to influence some newspapers so he set the Delorian time dial to the year 1897. February 6th, 1897 to be exact. Here Tito influenced the New York Times to write the following:

"Mr. Gladstone and the Balkan Confederation. – The Byron Society, which is actively engaged in disseminating appeals in Greece and Bulgaria to help the cause of the Macedonians, has communicated to its agents a letter from Mr. Gladstone for distribution in the vernacular in South-Eastern Europe. The Society aims at inducing the Greek, Servian and Bulgarian governments to come to an early agreement in reference to the Macedonian question. The letter is as follows: - ´Hawarden Castle Jan. 19, 1897. Dear, Sir, the hopelessness of the Turkish Government should make me witness with delight its being swept out of the countries which it tortures. Next to the Ottoman Government nothing can be more deplorable and blameworthy than jalousies between Greek and Slav and plans by the states already existing for appropriating other territory. Why not Macedonia for the Macedonians as well as Bulgaria for the Bulgarians and Servia for the Servians? And if they are small and weak, let them bind themselves together for defense, so that they may not be scattered by others, either great or small, which would probably be the effect of their quarreling among themselves. Your very faithful, W. E. Gladstone.´" ("New York Times", February 6th, 1897).

Bravo Tito, I don´t know exactly how you did it but you convinced a British Prime Minister to say "Macedonia for the Macedonians" which became a rallying cry for the Macedonians before your time!

Still not satisfied that enough was done, Tito set the Delorian time dial to August 11, 1900. Here he convinced a reader to write the following to the New York Times Editor;

"Christians in Turkey

To the Editor of the New York Times:

The writer read with much interest a letter in THE TIMES of to-day relating to the Macedonian disturbances. It has been said that ´The worst Christian Government is better than the best Muslim Government´, but Mr. Burman, the writer of the letter in question, apparently thinks Turkish rule good enough in its way or feels that international justice demands that Turkey in Europe be preserved at any price. He speaks of ´acts of retribution on the part of their (the Macedonians´) Turkish masters.´ As the Turks have long referred to the Christians in their dominions as ´dogs´ the term is perhaps a very apt one.

K. C. Bataille, Orange N. J., August 11, 1900."

By now everyone was getting a little tired and Tito decided that they should return back to the future and retire for the day. "We will do this again tomorrow" Tito told the others, "be here promptly at 8 AM". Just as everyone was busy unpacking their things, I slipped into the trunk of the Delorian through the hidden passage and waited for things to get quiet. When we got back to our time and everyone had left, I opened the Delorian´s trunk through the secret latch inside and I too retired for the day.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. When everyone was busy keeping the "dictionary guy" company and drinking rakia, I borrowed the Delorian for a brief while and took a trip to London to January 12, 1814 where I convinced Reverend Hughes to write the following;

"The Serai stands in an open space, near the south-east corner of the Castron: it is a vast irregular pile of buildings… The great hall of this building was crowded with attendants of every variety in costumes, from red-shawled Macedonians and turbaned Osmanli, to the Albanian with his shaggy white capote, and the Greek archon in robes of ermine and enormous calpac." ("Travels in Sicily Greece and Albania" by Rev. Thos. Smart Hughes, 1820, page 472).

By setting the return time dial to seconds after I left for London, I was able to spend considerable time in London without Tito discovering his Delorian was missing. I just hope he doesn´t keep track of the "time mileage".

And now I will leave you with this;

"Since the Christian era, as we have said, a successive downpour of foreigners from the north into Greece has ensued. In the sixth century came the Avars and the Slavs, bringing death and disaster. A more potent and lasting influence upon the country was probably produced by the slower and more peaceful infiltration of the Slavs into Thessaly and Epirus from the end of the seventh century onward. A result of this is that Slavic place-names to-day occur all over the Peloponnesus in the open country where settlements could readily be made. The most important immigration of all is probably that of the Albanians, who, from the thirteenth century until the advent of the Turks, incessantly overran the land." ("The Races of Europe A Sociological Study", by William Z. Ripley, Ph.D., 1910, page 408)

To be continued.

By Risto Stefov. Republihed here with his kind permission

Other articles by Risto Stefov:

Many thanks to TrueMacedonian from for his contribution to this article.

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