Come take a ride in Tito´s time Machine 5

Come take a ride in Tito´s time Machine – Part 5 – Mischief is my middle name

Risto Stefov

September 15, 2009

If we "must" believe that Josip Broz Tito (May 7, 1892 - May 4, 1980), the Yugoslav dictator, along with the Communists, "invented" the Macedonians then we must also believe that Tito possessed a "Time Machine" because in this series of articles we will show you that the Macedonians existed way before Tito´s time.

The next morning I showed up an hour earlier in hopes of meeting TrueMacedonian at the secret place where the Dolorean was parked and to ask him the burning question that kept me up half the night. What did he mean by "the women"?

To my surprise TrueMacedonian was already there when I showed up and he too was anxious to discover what the deal was with me. How did I discover the secret place where the Delorean was hidden and how did I know about Tito´s missions?

As we greeted each other I wasted no time and asked my questions first. "What did you mean when you said ´it was the women´ in regards to Tito´s missions?"

TrueMacedonian was completely surprised by my question and after a long and loud laugh said, "Don´t you know Tito is a womanizer? He has girlfriends all over the world and all through a span of over 100 years. Do you think he goes around the world and to various dates in time just to turn people into Macedonians and to convince them to write about the Macedonians? No! He goes to see his girlfriends and he gets them to do him ´favours´, if you know what I mean? He seduces the young ladies and they in turn seduce the ´lonely´ editors, reporters and authors. And then when Tito needs favours he calls on the girls to collect. That´s how he does it!"

Now why didn´t I think of that, I thought to myself, as TrueMacedonian continued to tell me about Tito´s crafty methods and how he uses his charm to seduce young ladies, particularly those in high society.

"And what´s your role in this?" I asked TrueMacedonian. "We are his ´props´ sort of," he said. "We are there to do what is necessary to make Tito look good and comfortable, except for Doc of course. Doc is his personal doctor who makes sure Tito does not ´snuff´ himself overindulging."

It was now TrueMacedonian´s turn to question my involvement in all this. Fortunately for me he only had a couple of questions. The first he asked was, "How did you discover the Delorean?"

I told him an engineer friend of mine tipped me off in 1985 when the Delorean was outfitted with its engine. I got inside the trunk to have a look at the electronics but then Tito and the others arrived to pick it up. I did not believe time travel was possible and thought the whole thing was a hoax until I saw a young Tito with my own eyes.

The second question TrueMacedonian asked was, "Why did you stay with the team and follow it on its missions?" Well that was easy; I was there for the adventure. "Believing" the Greek claims that Tito actually "created" the Macedonians, I was curious to find out how he did it.

Who would have thought that crafty Tito would use young "female socialites" to do his bidding?

I had one more question for TrueMacedonian. "How did the Greeks find out Tito ´created´ the Macedonians? Did they know about his time travels?" I asked.

TrueMacedonian had no answer! "Only the Greeks know for sure," he said as he pushed me down to duck for cover when Tito and the others were coming.

Lying comfortably in the Delorean´s trunk I overheard Tito say "dobro utro" to TrueMacedonian as he boarded the time machine and set its dials for another mission.

"We are going to …. (unintelligible), to September 22nd, 1911 to see the editor of the Evening Post," he commanded as he pushed the activation button. I did not hear where we were going so I had no idea where to look the next day as I went through most of the "popular" daily newspapers for September 23rd, 1911. Fortunately I found the following article in the Evening Post;



I skimmed through the article quickly until I read the sentence;

"The three might be added [to] the murders of Bulgarians, Macedonians, Greeks and Serbs who have been done to death with the old religious fury which is as prevalent as ever."

(Evening Post, Issue 73, September 23rd, 1911, page 10)

Ah, that crafty Tito not only did he add the word "Macedonians" to the article but he added it together with the words "Bulgarians", "Greeks" and "Serbs" in order to distinguish them as a unique ethnic identity. What a clever move!

Upon the team´s return from today´s first mission Tito seemed to be in a good mood when he said, "We are going to October 11, 1907 to visit with another Evening Post editor".

How many Evening Posts could there be in this world, especially in 1907, I wondered as I feverishly flipped the pages of one Evening Post after another? It had to be the same paper as the previews mission, I thought to myself, and sure enough it was. The story read in part as follows;

"The Balkans

The state of affairs in the Balkans is not by any means reassuring, although the same might have been remarked any time within the last ten years, or even longer. Today´s cable messages tell us that the Creusot works have at the present time a contract for the delivery during 1908 for material and ammunition for Servia, and that the same firm has also been entrusted with the manufacture of materials for new artillery for Greece. For some time now the Serbs, the Greeks, the Bulgars and the Macedonians have been annoying each other more than any occasion during a comparatively short period, and, as usual, it is very hard to form a just conclusion as to which is the most to blame."

(Evening Post, Volume LXXIV, issue 90, October 12, 1907, page 4)

Again, how clever of Tito to convince the editor to add the word "Macedonians" amidst the words "Greeks", "Bulgars" and "Serbs". Very nicely done team!

Again upon their return everyone was in a good mood, not very talkative but none the less in a good mood.

"I feel good," Tito commanded "so I think this time we should take a field mission. What do you think?" "Yes, yes, yes," was the reply. "Okay then, we are going to Rome, Italy to visit a certain reporter who owes me a few favours. I am setting the time dials to September 26, 1915.

I couldn´t help but wonder "what kind of favours" Tito did for this poor reporter and now he was going to "blackmail" him to write about the Macedonians.

I had no idea the article would appear in an American newspaper and only found it by accident.

"Special cable to the New York Times.

Rome, Sept. 27. – Another great conflagration in the Balkans is unavoidable. Many Balkan exiles living in Italy, especially Greeks, Macedonians, and Bulgarians are speeding home via Brindissi and Messina. Another sign of the gravity of the situation is the fresh severity of the censorship in the Balkan countries practically allowing only the transmission of official news." (The New York Times, September 27, 1915)

No sooner was the team back than they quickly left for their next mission. It was getting late and Tito insisted on doing one more mission before retiring for the day. "We are going to the West Coast to Tuesday August 25th, 1903," he said as he quickly set the time dials and pushed the activation button.

I had to look all through the West Coast newspapers the next day before I found the following article, which in part read;


It is therefore quite understandable that religious fanaticism and intolerance, combined with racial and political prejudices, could cause Turks, Macedonians, Greeks, Albanians and other races comprising the population of the Balkans to turn and rend each other if their passions are not kept in check by a government wise enough and strong enough to hold them." (West Coast Times, Wednesday, August 26, 1903, page 2)

The team was back in no time and as its members retired for the night, I was left alone with the Delorean. If only they knew the kind of mischief I would be getting into! Mischief was my middle name as I again took sole possession of the time machine. I spun the time dial wildly and went where it took me. This time I had no idea where and when I landed but no matter, wherever this was it was good because I ran into a young author named David Turnock and convinced him to write the following;

"It was overwhelmingly ´Greek´, a label that covers not only ethnic Greeks but Hellenized Orthodox people such as Armenians, Bulgarians, Macedonians and Vlachs as well. Even Serbs who initially resisted any identification with Greek culture were being converted at the turn of the century: they had effectively established a universal state within the empire, as a result of vigorous reaction to growth of banditry which eliminated Muslim elements both Turkish and Albanian. But as Greek was the language of commerce throughout the Balkans, some Serbs began to adjust, at least until a cultural reaction set in during the 1820s. Thus many of the ´Greeks´ who carted textile materials to the coast were Slavs and Vlachs and in addition there were many Armenians taking the road to Germany and Russia." ("The Making of Eastern Europe from the Earliest times to 1815", by David Turnock, page 292)

Satisfied with my deeds for the day, I returned the Delorean to its original time and space and retired for the evening.

To be continued.

Other articles by Risto Stefov:

Many thanks to TrueMacedonian from for his contribution to this article.

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